It’s strange. When the night time creeps and most of the population have dozed off in their warm cozy bed a surge of emotions hit me.
I look back on the day, soon to be yesterday and am typically disappointed by my inefficient utility of time.
I psych myself up in hopes of making up for the wasted hours, prepare to put in the long hours and get right to work. Just that it is now about to hit midnight.
If I have to wake up early then I usually just shower, do my night cleansing routine, go to bed and fall asleep.
BUT if i am extra motivated or I don’t have any important event in the morning I heat up water for green tea or I brew coffee in the kitchen. Then sometimes I chance upon cryptic articles which leads me to other related articles and I spend hours looking up stuff. By the time it’s about to hit 4 AM I spend a few minutes reluctantly convincing myself that what I looked up was for the sake of learning, for research. Then I prepare to go to bed.
By the time I get to bed I unlock my phone to set an alarm but I fall asleep before I could.
With winter being the current season, a day can feel extremely short. If I wake up at noon I see natural light for a couple hours, if I am lucky. This is just an example of one instance.
Lately there has been a shift in my mindset after reading a book topic on each individual’s negative characteristics.
I have been experimenting and exploring my ‘negative’ traits. It hasn’t even been a month and I have broken all my strict New Year’s schedule. Maybe I should feel bad because I feel zilch.
To paraphrase the book’s idea – It states to learn to love your negative traits, to utilize them to your natural advantage.
But I wouldn’t go too far with it if you lack self-discipline.